Wednesday, May 4, 2011

On My Legs

I've always had big thighs. For the record, I am not calling myself fat. But my legs have always been fat. Large. Shapely. Thick. Or, to use the quintessential midwestern term, "sturdy." Because of this, I have never really worn shorts. Bermudas, sure. Knee-length running tights, yes. But never shorts.

Last week I purchased a pair of Nike Tempo running shorts. Partly because they are popular among runners and I want to be like everyone else, but also because Charleston? It gets super hot in the summer. Last year, I would put on my workout capri pants and run a couple of miles a couple of times a week. But now, my running schedule is busier and I run longer and the capris aren't going to cut it once the temperatures hit 90. And this will happen very soon.

I took them for a spin yesterday, drove to my favorite nearby trail for a quick and dirty 3-miler over my lunch break (Can I just say that this is the best part about working from home?). I'd already applied my Body Glide to avoid chub rub issues, so I took off in my shorts and I started up the hill.

A woman was walking on the trail, and I passed her around the 1.5 mile point and nodded pleasantries. She was looking at my legs as I passed.

"Oh shit, she must think my legs are too fat for these shorts. WTF lady? I can wear shorts if I damn well want to." These thoughts are rolling through my head as I plug along.

I reached the end of the trail and turned to head back. Wouldn't you know, I passed her again! "Hello," "Hi there," still obviously staring at my legs as I went by.

"I clearly should not be wearing these shorts. They must look really bad. I am a giant fat monster." It's amazing how quickly what I imagine one complete stranger thinks of me can ruin my mood.

When I got back to my car, I remembered that my leg looked something like this:


IMAGE SOURCE - if this was my actual leg I would not have these issues


And that might have been what she was staring at. Whew! Self-esteem meltdown caused by total stranger averted.



Here's a little bonus story:


Picture it: Pittsburgh, 2008. Brad's friend Ned rolls up to our house on his road bike to go for a ride with Brad.


From inside our kitchen, I hear Brad say, "Dude. Your thighs are huge."


And Ned answer,"Yeah, thanks!"


There's one conversation that would never pass between two women.



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