Not About My Weight

I never wanted to be one of those women who obsesses about her weight. I've lost a lot of it in my day and I've been up and down within about 5 pounds of my current weight ever since. This post, however, is not about my weight. It's about my mental and physical health. I've put on 3 or 4 pounds in the last month or so. I know why it's happened, and I'm not happy about it.

But this is not about my weight.



Reason One
It's been a full week and a half since my last run. I have been working out -- doing "bootcamp" DVDs in my living room, ellipticalling, lifting weights -- but less frequently and less intensely than I should be and than I need. I can feel it in my body and in my psyche.

Excuse #1: I started a new job and It has kept me very, very busy.

Excuse #2: I had a cold that I couldn't shake for over a week.

Excuse #3: It's cold and even snowy now and the days are so super short and I don't feel comfortable running alone in the dark. And months of consistent outdoor running have made me loathe the treadmill more than I can express. I want my trails clear of snow, 35-40 degree temperatures and daylight.


Reason Two
I've been eating a lot of crap. Not junk food, because I just don't really purchase or eat actual junk food. But carby, sugary stuff like my mom's Christmas cookies (she sent us a huge box in the mail), and popcorn that I pop on the stove in coconut oil with tons of salt, and slices of bread slathered with almond butter.

Excuse #1: It's Christmas time. Crap food is aplenty.

Excuse #2: Vegetables and fruit aren't in season right now (which doesn't really apply in this day and age but I'm going with it).

Excuse #3: I'm just SICK of eating healthy all the time. And my indulgences aren't all that bad. . .


Reason Three
I eat my stress. Here is a list of just a few things that have made me turn to cookies late into the night:

1. See above, new job.

2. See above, cold.

3. Impending trip to Wisconsin for the holidays. The list of reasons why this is stressful is so long that just thinking about it is stressful.

4. I may or may not have killed Brad's truck when I drove it up to Pittsburgh last week.

5. The truck we were planning to drive to Wisconsin for said stressful holiday trip.

6. I will now have to put up with Brad and his father making fun of me for the rest of my life about (maybe) killing the truck, and thereby earning the label of "incompetent woman."

7. Also, not sure where the money to fix (maybe) dead truck will come from.

8. This week, I got the worst haircut of my life. This is basically what I looked like driving home from the salon:

8. I've gained 3 or 4 pounds in the last month. And trying not to focus on my weight is stressful.

Confessions of an Almost-Runner

That horrible 5-mile run that I went on a couple of weeks ago? That was the last "long" run I've done. I have kept up my weekly running schedule, but I've only run 3 or 3.5 miles at a time.

Since Daylight Savings Time ended and I've been leaving work in the dark, I've moved my weekday runs indoors. I've been hitting the good ole 'mill at the YMCA a couple of mornings a week at the ungodly hour of 6.00 am. It has allowed me to maintain my schedule but, man, do I hate running on the treadmill. My goal for the winter is to do at least one (long) run outside on the weekends, and run on the treadmill during the week. I even bought a pair of winter running tights this weekend.

I signed up for the 5K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning at the beautiful KSF. I convinced Brad to sign up, too, and since I'm not making him run with me this time, I expect that he will finish a good 10 minutes before I do. Since it is likely going to be a small race, I also expect that I will finish near the back of the pack, if not DFL (dead fucking last). I've come to terms with that and am going to run with my only goal being to finish faster (or less slowly, as the case may be) than my last 5K. A new PR, if I were a real runner.

After the 5K, Brad and I are going to come home, put on our stretchy pants, and cook a huge Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of us. It's going to be legendary.

2010 Goals

In order to get things you've never had, you need to do things that you've never done. Right? Here goes:

1. Quit drinking diet soda. I'll miss you, my sweet friend! I'm on day 4 already and holding strong.

2. Run a 5K race. I'm looking at two options right now; the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure in May, and the Charleston Distance Run in September.

3. Ride 50 miles. At once. On my bike. I am saving money for a real road bike, but until then Brad has agreed to put slick tires and a rigid fork on Black Betty so that I can get started.

4. Take on more responsibility at work.

5. Lose the 20 last pounds and become as healthy as I possibly can be. I swear to god, I make this resolution every damn year. I'm hoping that this will be a sort of by-product of all of the training for numbers 2 and 3. I think I've got the healthy eating part down, I just need to work out more.

6. Visit my friend Melissa and her awesome husband and daughter (my god daughter) in DC at least 3-4 times in 2010. I hope to start this one next month -- they're only a 5 hour drive away!

7. Visit my friend Devin in California. I love this girl and my wedding was the first time I've seen her in nearly 2 years. Unacceptable!

8. Eat dinner at the dining room table. This is definitely a hard one, as Brad and I usually end up balancing our plates on our knees as we watch Jeopardy. Classy.

9. Pay off debt, and start saving money for a house. I can't wait to be free of the debt stranglehold!

10. Super secret goal that I'm not sharing with anyone yet. But I'll let you know what it is when it happens!


Tonight we're off to the home of one of Brad's cycling friends for a NYE celebration. A room full of new people? Sounds like the perfect opportunity for me to be a litte uncomfortable.

Happy new year!

Pretty Good Year

I can't believe it's almost Christmas and that 2009 is nearly over (side note: what are we supposed to call this decade? The 2000s?). This has been probably the best but most change-filled year that I've had so far -- moving to yet another state, starting yet another new job, and getting married of course!

I'm starting to think about my New Year resolutions for 2010. Every year I make them and I'm usually about 50% successful. Last year, I resolved to send birthday cards to all of our family members (I only missed 2 -- my father-in-law, and my brother-in-law the marine, who kept forgetting to give us his address). There was also a second resolution that I don't remember.

I'm thinking that, this year, I will resolve to better my health in some way. I eat pretty healthfully most of the time and I work out regularly, but I could do so much more. Seven years ago, I resolved to lose weight and I did -- nearly 60 pounds. Six years ago, I resolved to quit smoking and I did. It seems that I am the most dedicated to health-related resolutions. I've been eating a lot of cookies and sweets lately, as usually happens this time of year, and I feel really disgusting when I eat a lot of sugar. So I've been kicking around the idea of going refined sugar- and artifical sweetener-free in 2010 but that seems a bit daunting. Cutting down on sugar and only eating sweets on special occasions sounds easier, if I can keep the "it's Friday! That's a special occasion!" attitude at bay. I'd also like to run a 5K this year for real. I've been thinking about that for a while now, too.

Stay tuned for a public declaration of resolve.

Thanksgiving

My parents were in town for Thanksgiving, giving me the opportunity to go all Martha Stewart on the dining room:
Brad and I made a traditional Thanksgiving meal, including stuffing, mashed potatoes, roasted brussels sprouts, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, apple pie and, of course, a big roasted turkey.

My parents had never been to West Virginia before, so we showed them some of the sights. We went shopping at Tamarack,
visited the New River Gorge,
and saw the Capitol dome all dressed up for the holidays.


We also did some Christmas shopping, hit up the Capitol Market and the Cultural Museum, played Wii golf and bowling, and had a wonderful dinner at Bluegrass Kitchen. All in all, it was a good Thanksgiving weekend. Now my parents are on their way back to Wisconsin, Brad is riding his bike, and I'm getting ready to spend this rare 65 degree November day hiking at the KSF. Happy holidays y'all!