Not About My Weight

I never wanted to be one of those women who obsesses about her weight. I've lost a lot of it in my day and I've been up and down within about 5 pounds of my current weight ever since. This post, however, is not about my weight. It's about my mental and physical health. I've put on 3 or 4 pounds in the last month or so. I know why it's happened, and I'm not happy about it.

But this is not about my weight.



Reason One
It's been a full week and a half since my last run. I have been working out -- doing "bootcamp" DVDs in my living room, ellipticalling, lifting weights -- but less frequently and less intensely than I should be and than I need. I can feel it in my body and in my psyche.

Excuse #1: I started a new job and It has kept me very, very busy.

Excuse #2: I had a cold that I couldn't shake for over a week.

Excuse #3: It's cold and even snowy now and the days are so super short and I don't feel comfortable running alone in the dark. And months of consistent outdoor running have made me loathe the treadmill more than I can express. I want my trails clear of snow, 35-40 degree temperatures and daylight.


Reason Two
I've been eating a lot of crap. Not junk food, because I just don't really purchase or eat actual junk food. But carby, sugary stuff like my mom's Christmas cookies (she sent us a huge box in the mail), and popcorn that I pop on the stove in coconut oil with tons of salt, and slices of bread slathered with almond butter.

Excuse #1: It's Christmas time. Crap food is aplenty.

Excuse #2: Vegetables and fruit aren't in season right now (which doesn't really apply in this day and age but I'm going with it).

Excuse #3: I'm just SICK of eating healthy all the time. And my indulgences aren't all that bad. . .


Reason Three
I eat my stress. Here is a list of just a few things that have made me turn to cookies late into the night:

1. See above, new job.

2. See above, cold.

3. Impending trip to Wisconsin for the holidays. The list of reasons why this is stressful is so long that just thinking about it is stressful.

4. I may or may not have killed Brad's truck when I drove it up to Pittsburgh last week.

5. The truck we were planning to drive to Wisconsin for said stressful holiday trip.

6. I will now have to put up with Brad and his father making fun of me for the rest of my life about (maybe) killing the truck, and thereby earning the label of "incompetent woman."

7. Also, not sure where the money to fix (maybe) dead truck will come from.

8. This week, I got the worst haircut of my life. This is basically what I looked like driving home from the salon:

8. I've gained 3 or 4 pounds in the last month. And trying not to focus on my weight is stressful.