Well I'm Glad That is Over

Sigh.

So far, in the 12 days since I wrote my last, optimistic, new year-fresh post, I have drunk a ton of diet soda and not worked out one single time. However, after all is said and done, I've lost 5 actual pounds.

On January 2, I was stricken with the worst case of food poisoning I have ever seen, save for that one time that Brad knowingly ate rotten trout. I couldn't keep down even water, I got severely dehydrated, and I was unable to eat real food for 5 days. If I had health insurance, you can bet I would have gone to the emergency room on Sunday morning, after I awoke, presumably from fainting, on the bathroom floor. Unfortunately, I am not eligible for my company's plan yet, so I toughed it out.

During this time, I dropped about 7-8 pounds, which is partially awesome but mostly scary (as I mentioned, 3 of those came back once I was able to eat and drink normally). I finally feel 100% normal, thank goodness. The culprit? I'm sorry to say I believe it was a bottle of kombucha. I understand that a small percentage of people have a severe "allergic" reaction to this fermented tea, that manifests as gastrointestinal toxicity. I guess I will never know for sure, but you can bet that I will never again drink that shit.

Today, I had a long, long day that began at 530 am. As I drove to a jobsite in Morgantown, I contemplated: if I can wake up at 530 to drive for 2.5 hours for work, why can't I awake at 530 to hit the gym for 1 hour before work? I'm going to try to put that into action this week. I am starting with a small goal, of working out before work ONCE this week. Perhaps tomorrow; since I'm already super tired, I don't think I could stay up late if I tried.

Bonus: An Actual Conversation

I'm lying on the couch, in the throes of food poisoning, watching a Jersey Shore marathon and eating crackers. Brad walks in, all handsome and fresh-faced from a 4-hour mountain bike ride. I probably glare at him, I can't help it!

Brad: I think you've invented a celebrity diet.
K: Yeah, saltines and ginger ale?
Brad: Saltines and diet ginger ale.